We all want to feel like our lives have meaning. We want to have the courage to take risks for the things that matter. We want to experience deep love and connection. We want to feel good in our bodies. We want to feel like we're enough. We want to feel inspired and ignited. We want to feel deeply connected to life. We want to know how to love ourselves.
The sweet spot we're all looking for in life? It lives on the other side of pain.
The greatest gift I've been given in my life has been the courage to face my pain. Through it I have discovered who I truly am. On the other side of it I have found the beauty of life. When we run from our pain we are victims but when we face into it we become spiritual warriors.
Pushing Beauty is a place to find tools and inspiration to release pain, open your heart, and create a life you love.
You Can Only Hide For So Long
Ever since I can remember I've been using writing to process life. I sat in trees listening to mix tapes and writing poetry. I hid journals under mattresses and wrote letters to everyone I loved. I have always been someone who has felt deeply and who has sought to uncover life's meaning. My heart bled for strangers before I knew what an empath was.
I felt the longing of my soul constantly pulling me, but I didn't know what it meant or what to do with it. I tried to use my mind to figure it out, and when I didn't get anywhere I shoved the feelings away. I was often stuck in my head, confused, and frustrated.
I spent most of my life trapped within myself.
Because I didn’t know how to listen to my intuition or process my emotions properly, I decided to ground myself in the world by emulating qualities I liked. I wanted to be strong, confident, outgoing, and independent. So I became those things. Or I should say I pretended to be those things because to be those things required me to face some stuff I was not yet prepared to face.
I was too busy playing dress up to sit with the truth that I was terrified that who I really was wasn't good enough for anyone. I wasted so much time living in my head. I questioned everything I said and did always afraid I had made the wrong move. I stayed with boyfriends who were clearly wrong for me for far too long. I was deeply insecure and lost but told the world I was strong and confident.
You Can Only Hide For So Long
Pieces started to fall around me. I was flailing in my career. Money wasn't flowing. I was picking fights with my boyfriend. I didn't like my living situation. Deep inside I felt this horrible feeling like I wasn't living the life I was here to live.
Looking back I can see a very clear path at that time in my life. Every aspect of my life was unfolding and pointing me onto that path. I began to pick up on it and started to move forward, and I met my greatest teacher: my own breath. I was lead to begin a Breathwork practice and since that day my life has never been the same.
At the time I remember thinking, "How the hell is breathing going to change my life?" Oh, but it did. It dramatically did. This breathing technique was not about relaxation. It was about healing. It was about opening my heart. It was about discovering myself. And that's what I did.
Who i am now
Writing about my past feels like another lifetime. And it kind of is. I'm now a Breathwork teacher, mentor, writer, and Desire Map facilitator. Every aspect of my life has transformed. But most importantly, now I love every ounce of me.
I can be seen by others without shrinking myself down. I don’t worry about what other people think about me. I don't worry about trying to do it all right because there is no such thing as a right way. I trust myself to make the choices that are best for my life, and I don’t spend my energy questioning myself afterward. I’ve developed a healthy balance between using my mind and my heart.
Don't let this lead you to believe that my life is pain-free. I went through a terrible heartbreak in 2016, but I have learned tremendously from it. I worked on keeping my heart open. I took the time to heal, as long as it needed. I paid close attention to the wounds the pain was pointing to. I took deep care of myself, like I work to do every day.
I don't think it's important to look deeply inward, I think it's necessary.
It's necessary if you want to relieve your anxiety, if you want to let go of your pain, if you want to accept yourself, if you want to feel any bit better than you do right now. Turning inward and walking straight through the pain you're hiding from is the only path to true happiness.
This path of looking inward is challenging because of the deep feelings we’ve suppressed and need to process. It’s challenging because the ego is hella strong and will do anything it can to dupe us into taking the easy route.
If you’re reading this and you’re struggling in the depths of darkness or you know you’re not living the life that is meant for you take a look at my offerings. This life is not an easy path, but I promise you that if you show up to do the work and if you face it all wholeheartedly, what is on the other side is so worth it.
About Pushing Beauty
get unstuck &
create a life you love
I support people as they journey inward to release pain, open their hearts, and create a life they love. Pushing Beauty is the hub for you to learn how to do these things.
Most of the work I do focuses on using Breathwork to release pain and limitations combined with intuitive mentoring to process healing and take action steps to create sustainable change.
I work with people in the following ways in a one-on-one capacity as well as in group workshops. I also have self-lead programs that open from time to time.
You can learn more about my offerings here, but make sure you don't miss out on my free gift below.
A 4-Step Guide To Self-Love
how to find true happiness
A GIFT FOR YOU
I created a free audio course as a gift for you. It's called How to Find True Happiness: A 4 Step Guide to Self Love. In it you'll discover three simple, but profound principles and my powerful go-to practice that will help you uncover what's already within you.
Downloading this course puts you on my mailing list which also gives you access to:
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