If You’re Unhappy and You Know It
Don’t clap your hands. Obviously. But do something, please. Do something now instead of in the future (aka never). Do something in this moment right now, right here to prove to yourself that you are worthy of a life that fulfills the cry of your soul. Your happiness is too important to put off one more moment.
If you’ve consciously acknowledged your unhappiness you, my dear, are in danger. You’re in danger because you’ve told yourself you’re not worthy of happiness. And once we’ve told ourselves we’re only worthy of the mediocre, that our happiness is worth putting off, it’s a difficult belief to reverse. If you’re just now realizing the truth of your relationship to life, now is your opportunity. No matter where you stand you have the choice to transform your life.
What if things could be different right now? What if you could feel joy in this exact moment? Because it’s possible. Here, try this as an experiment. Go to my Wake Up & Move Spotify playlist and allow yourself to dance to a song on the list (or one you choose that makes you feel good). If you’re sad, depressed, tired, cranky, mad, or heartbroken, I promise you can go back to those feelings in five minutes. Just table them for a moment and dance anyway. You can mad dance if you want. But just go in your room (or go to the bathroom if you’re at work—you’re not getting out of this that easy), close the door, shut your eyes, and move to the music. Jump up and down. Throw your hands in the air. Run in place as fast as you can. Make the biggest, widest movements your body can make. Expand yourself. Don’t worry about what you look like, just listen to the music, really listen to it, and let your body respond. Dancing=joy. It’s true for all of us if we let it be so.
Seriously. Go now before reading on.
If you actually did the experiment, congratulations. You’ve just shown yourself that it doesn’t matter how you feel, you can do something good for yourself anyway. If you feel unhappy it can be difficult to choose to do things that feel good. But in order to be happy that’s exactly what we have to do: commit to doing things that make us feel good. When you know that what you’re going to do will evoke a feeling that brings joy, value, love, or worth to your life, you do it because you’re choosing to cultivate happiness. Because, unfortunately, for most of us happiness doesn’t just fall into our laps.
Speaking of falling into laps, if you’re waiting for romantic love to be happy allow me to gently wake you from your delusion: WAKE THE HELL UP. It’s not gonna happen. Really. Yeah, you might get a mini vacation while your brain drugs you up after falling in love, but if you’re not happy now, you’re sure as hell not gonna be happy in a relationship. Getting happy first is the key to a healthy, amazing relationship—the relationship we all want. There is no one who is going to rescue you from this life, from your despair, from your apathy. If you’re unwilling to stand for yourself who do you think will? It’s possible to be happy without being in love; in fact, I think it’s a necessity.
The thing about life, the big truth I’ve come to realize, is that all of your problems come down to one simple but complex thing: your relationship with yourself. All of your actions and interactions show the truth about your relationship to yourself. If your money is a mess, you don’t feel worthy of something (probably love). If you never show up on time, you don’t respect yourself. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you aren’t taking care of yourself. If you’re impatient with others, I bet you’re impatient with yourself. If you judge others, you’re a big critic of yourself. When you can welcome these truths about yourself, show compassion for them, and make the choice to stand by your own side, magical things begin to happen.
This is your life and your life alone. You were dealt a hand, and you get to play the cards the way you want to play them. And the real truth is that this moment right here, it is the moment you get to make a big decision. Right now you get to decide that you’re not going to stand for one more moment of feeling sorry for yourself, one more moment of apathy about your own life, one more moment of not really living, of just going through the motions, just chugging on. This is a moment when you can decide to do something, one thing, right now that will transform the way you relate to life. Maybe it’s dancing in your room every morning, maybe it’s signing up for that course you’ve been contemplating, maybe it’s blessing your money every day, maybe it’s meditating at night, maybe it’s transforming your negative thoughts into positive ones, maybe it’s choosing to be around positive people. Whatever it is, choose one thing that shows you that you are showing up for yourself. One thing that you will do every single day that shows you that you care about yourself, that shows you that you are worthy of an amazing, deeply fulfilling life. Because it exists and is here for you to experience right now. It’s your choice.