Listen To Yourself Before Listening To Others
Today I wanted to give you a little reminder to listen to yourself. You can listen to your friends, your teacher, your mentor, you partner, the stranger writing a blog you found online. Listen to them all. But then listen to yourself. Always, always, always check in to see if all the things you are listening to resonate with you. This may sound obvious, but it ends up being not.
I’m in a challenging situation with my dog, a creature I love deeply. Some of the people surrounding me hearing me struggle with all that I’ve been struggling with (more to come on this another time) may not understand why I am doing what I am doing. And that’s ok. I have to live with the choices I make, not them. My friends can't give me permission to stop working on my dog. I have to give that permission to myself. I have to come to a point where I know in my heart I have to be done.
This is not to say that support isn't essential. It is. So very essential to our well being. Yet support and advice are not the same things. I listen to my friends, and on occasion I ask them for advice. But I always know that they can't really ever tell me what they would do because they don't know what they would do. They can't know until they've been in this very position, and even then, they are still not me, feeling what I'm feeling with all of my own unique experiences that have made me who I am. Only I am me, and only I can make the best choices for myself.
I know people (and I have been one of these people) who struggle with ending unhealthy relationships. The people around me have said, “Break up. It’s unhealthy.” I have told people, “Break up. It’s unhealthy.” But no choice can be made and lived with simply by listening to another person. In times I have known that voice was right, but I didn't know it for myself. Well, in truth I did know it, but my mind was what was driving me, and I didn't know how to listen to the depths of my self.
We need to feel it for ourselves. It needs to be time for us, and when it’s time it’s something we know. We can listen to others, but that listening won’t mean anything until something inside us shifts. We hear a story or have an experience, and in that moment something inside us awakens, and we then know the truth for ourselves.
Only when we know our own truth can we make the choices that are best for us. This is why we go back and forth. This is why we break up and get back together. This is why we make a decision and then spend hours analyzing whether or not it was the right decision.
Only when we are in alignment with our deepest self can we make choices that we know are what we need in that moment and live with them without second guessing. We can acknowledge our heart's desire that things could have turned out differently, but that desire doesn't inform our decision. We acknowledge it for what it is: a desire, a yearning for control. And we are able to choose what is best for ourselves.
A lot of people get confused about whether or not they are doing the right thing, making the right choice, doing what is best. When we feel that confused it’s a clear sign we’re out of balance, we’re too much in our heads.
We want to have more clarity, more ease with our decisions, more confidence. To have those things means that we need to do the daily work. We need to heal ourselves. We need to balance ourselves. We need to restore. We need to learn the difference between our ego and authentic self. We need to know the difference in order to be able to live in accordance with our soul. We need to know how to be who we really are, how to live our healthiest lives, and how to put ourselves back on track when we slip off.
And that comes from knowing yourself. It comes from exploring and experimenting and listening deeply to the voice inside, the voice that’s always been there patiently waiting for you to listen to it.