The Best Advice You'll Ever Receive
I’m going to give you some life changing advice. When I first heard this perspective it stunned me a bit. Could changing my life really be that simple? Of course I knew the answer was yes. Breathing changed my life, what could be simpler than that? But this advice went against the way I operate: as a natural problem solver. This is the advice, simple and to the point:
Focus only on the positive.
I was listening to Abraham Hicks talk about the law of attraction. Have you ever heard the saying, “Where your attention goes, energy flows”? Well, that’s the idea. When you focus on the positive things going on in your life you will attract a vibrational match, meaning that things in your life will continue to get better and better. When you focus on positivity you vibrate at a higher frequency, attracting the like.
Imagine you have ten things happening in your life. One of those ten things is incredible. You feel so blessed to have, experience, or do that one thing, but there are nine other things that are problematic. Nine of those things in your life are on your to-do list to fix or solve. But, what if you didn’t really need to actively fix those things? What if letting them go is actually what will fix them?
I have always been a problem solver, and a big part of that was derived from my desire to help and to be a better person. But I have realized that I have spent so much time focusing on the nine problems instead of the one amazing thing. When something is good, I push it to the side saying, “That’s taken care of. Now let me tackle these issues so I can move them to the all good column as well.”
What ends of happening is we spend the majority of our energy focusing on negativity in a wholehearted attempt to turn them positive. What I have come to see is that when I don’t try so hard to fix everything those things seem to fix themselves. When my attention is focused on being of service, on gratitude, and on joy, the “problems” in my life seem to solve themselves — or maybe they weren’t true problems to begin with.
This advice has helped me see how deep the problem solving grooves are in my brain. I continue to pay attention to what’s happening in my life and see the ways in which I continue to place attention on the problems. I’m noticing the shift in energy and how bad it feels.
The other night I was talking to my boyfriend about the work I’ve been doing with Kona (for those of you not up to speed, my dog jumped through a 2nd story glass window). It’s been 2.5 months since I’ve had a normal life. I can’t leave him alone, and I’ve been working with trainers on getting us through this time. As I was speaking about the situation I could feel my energy depleting.
We were silent for a few minutes, and I realized that I was putting my energy into the problem again. I’m taking action and doing what I can to remedy the situation, and the rest is out of my control. When I’m focused on problem solving I’m really guessing about the future. Maybe if I do this, that will happen. I’ve been through difficult times in my life. I’ve been through challenges with this very dog. And I got through it. The funny thing is that I don’t entirely remember what resolved the past issues I had with him. It just seemed to work itself out.
So I’m back to focusing all my energy on giving and loving. And guess what? I’m seeing more progress, and it all feels so light. Isn’t that how we all want to feel? A little lighter?
Experiment yourself and let me know how it goes for you. If it feels overwhelming to make such a big shift try starting small. Just pay attention to your thoughts. Notice how you feel when you focus on things that are positive as opposed to your problem. Challenge your thinking. You may have a belief that you have to solve this problem (and maybe you do), but what if you don’t? What if life could really be much easier? Because it can.