When Your World Comes Crumbling Down
I have spent many moments over this past month wondering what it is that happened to my life. I’ve suddenly found myself in a new one, on a new path, making a new start. I can’t tell you how many people have said this exact thing to me, and I’m going to say it to you, too:
You’re being cleared out for something incredible to come in.
The thing, though, is that you have to be open to it coming, and sometimes when we’re in pain we close ourselves off to that incredible newness. Safety feels better. As much as we claim we want things to change, we hold onto sameness. It feels comfortable, even if it’s painful.
I went through a breakup several years ago with someone I loved more deeply than I’d loved anyone at that time. And then we both moved on. We both fell in love with other people, and this time I fell in love even more deeply. I was cleared out and opened up for something new.
I have lost clients only to make better ones. I have left jobs to find something more deeply fulfilling. I have left cities to move somewhere that felt more like home. I have left relationships in order to feel more deeply met. I have had health issues that have pointed to deeper truths. Every single time my life has felt like it was falling apart I have emerged as a new person.
It’s really easy to fall into complacency instead of opening up to that incredible newness that wants to come into your life. There have been times in my life where I have suffered way longer than I needed to, times where I allowed myself to become stuck, unwilling to see the truth. And then I have had times when I reached out for support (whether through one-on-one work, virtual courses, or group retreats), to someone I felt had something to offer me, and I allowed myself to be supported.
There’s a saying that goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
So often we’re blinded by our life circumstances that we don’t see the wisdom that’s being presented to us. But when we slow down we begin to realize that we’re hearing exactly what we need to hear when we need to hear it. Things start to fall into place when we embrace the current and float downstream.
I have found all of the right teachers at the right times. When I took a moment to lift my chin up, to pull myself out of my self-pity, to find the strength to move, I found the messages I needed. In my toughest times I needed support from someone else in order to grow into myself. It’s really difficult to see ourselves clearly in the aftermath of destruction. This support was the difference between me suffering for many months in pain and confusion and me embracing my truth and moving into my new life with excitement.
Many of us get stuck because we want something different for ourselves but we don’t know what the right choice is. We’re too afraid to make the wrong choice that we make no choice at all, inevitably the worst choice. At least if you choose to try something on, learn a new technique or work with someone, at least then you’re moving. If it ends up not being for you, guess what? You can switch gears and try something else on.
On the other hand, if you are so paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice, then you’re living in default. You are no longer the creator of your life. You are now sinking in quicksand and waiting for some unidentified hero to save you.
And then you’re just pissing your soul off. Because your soul knows you are here to live a big life, a great life, an incredible life. And you’re stuck in quicksand.
Imagine if you decided to choose something instead. Imagine all of the incredible possibilities for your life. You don’t actually have to spend hours trying to decide if it’s the right thing or not. You can just choose it. You can choose to be guided. You can choose to allow. You can choose to trust. You can choose to open up instead of shutting down.
You are going to make mistakes in life, and that is ok. Let it be ok. Don’t let your fear of choosing the right thing hold you back from choosing. Take a chance. That’s what you’re here for. Step into yourself and really allow yourself to live.
The truth is that everything you want is possible. You just have to choose to make it possible. You have to allow yourself to open the door to something new. You are being cleared out for something incredible to come in.
Are you going to let it in?