2018: The Year of Manifestation
I have a New Year ritual where I look back on the previous year to see how much I've grown, what I've learned, and how I can apply that wisdom to the next year.
I take a holistic approach, reflecting on what I was going through in my personal life, what lessons I was working through, what workshops I was teaching, and what clients and students were responding to. Essentially, I'm taking a look at the exchange of energy and my relationship to my life throughout the previous twelve months.
Below I’m going to share with you what I learned from my review, how it’s influencing my intentions for 2018, and how you can create your own review.
This practice typically takes me a few hours in a day, but this month has proved to be particularly full (something I am addressing moving forward) so it took me a few days. It doesn’t matter if it’s not January when you happen to be reading this. You can do a review any time of the year and go back as far as you like. It’s a great way to step back and get clarity on your life.
My 2017 Annual Review
Before I even sat down to do my Annual Review, I was reflecting on my journey these past two years. There was a clear theme for me in each.
2016 was the year of Heartbreak.
2017 was the year of Healing.
2018 will be the year of Manifestation.
2016 was the worst year of my life. It also turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. That year I surrendered to the truth and committed to healing in a way I never had done before. It was sort of a "take me, I'm yours" moment.
In 2017 I planted a lot of seeds. Those seeds have been sinking into the soil, growing firm roots, and in 2018 I'll continue to nourish them as they begin to sprout.
I wanted a lot this past year. I wanted to make more money. I wanted my business to grow. I wanted to become a better healer. I wanted to meet my soulmate. I wanted to teach Breathwork while traveling the world. I wanted to buy a house in Joshua Tree.
I wanted a lot, and that's fine with me. I got some of those things last year, but most importantly I cleared the path to allow them to come in when it's the right time.
What I see in hindsight, is that all the healing I've done has transformed me into someone who wants the same things I wanted, but now for different reasons. I am astonished at how deeply the universe has guided me through the lesson of TRUST this past year. As the year was coming to a close, instead of it being a concept, I was embodying trust.
I have a vision board I've been working with for over a year. Though it's also full of images of my future home in LA and Joshua Tree, its main focus is my sacred love which is why I call it my Hubby board. All year I believed I was ready to meet my soulmate. But as the year came to a close and I found myself on a date with a great guy (but not my great guy), I allowed myself to honor the truth that I wasn't actually ready to meet my sacred love just yet.
I was afraid that by admitting this truth I was closing myself off to someone great coming in.
Maybe the five year old within me was afraid of jinxing herself. I could envision the bitter old lady I might become, wagging her finger in my face, reminding me I asked for this loneliness. Instead, she flashed away in a blink, and I decided to own that at that time I needed to be on my own.
I needed more time soaking up me and that didn't mean I wouldn't be ready next week or next month. It just meant that right then I wasn't ready. It was a big moment for me in shedding the need to find a partner out of fear and instead trusting that he is on his way and will get here in divine time.
At the end of 2017, I began to really own where I was in the moment. Instead of focusing on numbers, figures, and the perception of me and my business I am clearly focused on presenting who I am in all engagements (which is a human being just like you, by the way.).
I am more interested in creating content from my soul than my mind and creating what serves over what sells.
Each year there has been a theme for me, a word that represents that theme, and (more recently) an Animal Spirit card to help guide me.
Last year was the year of Healing, my word was Trust, and my animal was Eagle.
2018 is the year of Manifestation, my word is Open, and my animal is Moth.
Yep, I went from Eagle to Moth, and even though I know there are no bad cards I'm not gonna lie—I was kinda bummed about getting Moth.
However, I leaned into the card before writing this, and I think it's pretty perfect. Here's the line I'm working with, "Practice seeing life as an infinite mystery."
Fits pretty perfect with my vision for 2018, don't you think?
2017 Annual Review Highlights
Patience and trust are lessons that come hand-in-hand. We tend to lose trust when things don't happen "fast enough" (when we think they're supposed to happen). I am someone who grows pretty fast, and I've been in tune with that. I have also been impatient when it has felt like I've plateaued.
What I realize is that when I felt like I was hibernating, I was actually integrating.
In February I wrote in my planner, “I am ready for sacred love and financial freedom. I am deserving of both.” I can feel the energy from that page when I look back on it. I can hear that I was really saying, “Please let it be true that I am deserving of love and abundance. Please tell me that I am worthy of what I really want in my life.”
There is nothing wrong with this stage in growth. This is so, so important. Many of us are tempted to reject or label any part of our process that isn't the highest expression of ourselves as bad or problematic.
It wasn’t bad that I was in that place. It wasn’t wrong. I am not sharing this with you to teach you how to bypass this step. It was a bridge between where I was (not believing I was worthy) and where I am now (connected to my worth).
My intention setting now feels fueled by trust rather than fear.
Setting Intentions Works (Over Time)
A pattern I continued to see over the year is that as I was becoming more clear of how I wanted to live. One of my Core Desired Feelings is Sacred, and the intentions I was setting were about cultivating that feeling in every aspect of my life.
I wrote it down in my planner. Sometimes I wrote the same intention down daily, sometimes weekly. In April I set the intention to set intentions while I was writing my emails to my readers. I wanted to connect more deeply to why I was writing and trust that spirit would get the message to the right people at the right time.
I forgot to do this a lot. I would see that writing an email was on my list for the day, and I'd hit send and immediately realize I hadn't set an intention. Then again in May I wrote, “My intention is to allow Pushing Beauty to be an expression of my voice and reach the hearts and souls of those who resonate.”
My intention for June:
Allow Pushing Beauty to blossom into a full expression of my gifts. As I trust and allow my soul to speak more and more, I trust the Universe will guide Pushing Beauty to who needs its message.
It never became a habit that I was conscious of, but something even more beautiful happened: the intention became a part of who I am. The intention that I was setting was actually a desire to become more connected to my spiritual essence. Everything I do, whether leading a workshop, creating a Guided Breathwork Audio, or writing a newsletter, I am connected to the purpose behind my work. I send love with everything I do, and I trust that my words and my work will reach those who need it.
Gratitude Has a Life of Its Own
There were many consistencies for me over this year, and one of them was focusing on gratitude. While my intention setting might have often come from fear, my gratitude did not (in 2016 that might have been a different story). I realize this year that as my heart healed and continued to open, my capacity for gratitude deepened greatly.
Throughout the year I expressed daily gratitude (in my journal) for the support around me, specifically of my teacher and mentor, David, and my dear friend, Liz, as well as all of my guides and teachers (pretty much anyone I learn from in any way).
So Much Love To Give
One of the greatest gifts that has emerged toward the end of the year and into 2018 is what has happened as a result of becoming me.
The more insecurities I release, the more I am able to give love to others.
I was on retreat in October and in my closing to the group I shared that I am finding myself seeing the beauty in everyone—not just the people who I admire or those who were nice to me. I was seeing beauty in each person, and I was able to love them exactly where they were at. This is something that is awakening within me, and it feels incredibly exciting.
Final Notes about 2017
If you want to heal, you will heal. If you want to learn more about yourself, you will. Committing to your growth and being patient with the process yields incredible results. I am a different human. I am increasingly becoming more and more me. It doesn’t mean anything is perfect. It doesn’t mean I don’t still have work to do.
It means that I have deeply accepted that I will always have more work to do, and I love that.
Using My 2017 Annual Review for 2018 Intentions
In last year's Annual Review I wrote, "I am committing to trusting that every single thing that has happened in my life up to now has been a gift for me. While 2016 was about climbing up the mountain, 2017 is about being on top."
Yes, it's true that 2016 was a climb up the mountain, but 2017 ending up being about nurturing the soil that supported my journey. My hands moved earth, churned up soil and grit. I spit seeds from between my teeth, and the moist land sucked them right up.
I unzipped my body, flipped it inside out, and shook out the broken glass. I gracefully hoisted myself out of the hole I landed in and curled up in my own arms until bruised skin turned olive and my heart turned warm again.
I found out who I am and what I want. I whispered those desires onto trees turned to white sheets and buried them into the land. I pressed one dirty palm against the ground and the other on my heart. I leapt into the truth that it's safe to surrender.
This year, my eyes have laser focus and I see it all. Wisdom moves through my body and truth is carried in my heart. I trust and trust until I can trust even more. I make space for my heart to be rocked and cradled, and my soul churns her scepter into the ground.
This year my arms are wide open. I am ready, with the flick of a wrist, to keep out of my energy field those who aren't ready to dance with me.
This year I am hearing, seeing, and knowing the truth. I make choices that align with my self-worth.
This year I open my heart to loving bigger than I can imagine. This year I am willing for it to be easy. I call in my soulmate. I call in sacred land. I call in magic, magic, magic. I call in the powerful ripple of effect of waking up into the hearts of the change makers and light workers of the world.
There is laughter in my sorrow and bubbles of joy in my pain. There is love in my borders and a door that hangs on a swinging chain. This year I am basking in the hard work I've done. I am honoring the beauty of who I am, who I am becoming, and who I have yet to discover.
May you have the courage to sign up, on your dotted line, to live beyond the borders of your body and in the calling of your soul.
How To Create Your Own Annual Review
Ok, now it’s your turn. The easiest way to reflect on your year is if you have something you can look back on like a journal, planner, or social media feed. These things really help jog our memory to to moments that we can so easily forget.
Here are some steps:
- Create a sacred space where you won’t be interrupted, and you can really dedicate the time and energy to reflecting on the year and opening up to the possibilities of this year. This is a big one because it can be emotional to reflect on some of the pain points from last year, but remember that there will also be nuggets of beauty that will surprise you along the way.
- Have all your resources in front of you. Anything that will help you jog your memory about what went down that month will be helpful.
- Work by month, and don’t get too caught up in the details. This can end up being a little like opening up old photo albums. You can get sucked in for hours. Try to keep it fluctuating between macro and micro. When you get too caught in the details pull yourself back out.
- Look for themes. Pay attention to patterns of behavior that you are still holding on to. For example, I noticed I was writing a lot about releasing residual fear around money this time last year, and it’s still lingering so there is some major work I need to do around that ASAP.
- Connect your actions to your emotions. Remember how doing certain things made you feel. Take note. You’ll want to stop doing some of those things or do more of others in 2017 based on that information.
I like to consider the following:
- Big events like
- Beginning or ending of relationships of any kind
- Death & Birth
- Starting something new
- Doing something scary
- How was I showing up for myself?
- Who was I spending time with?
- How much money I made
- What things I was doing to nourish my soul
- Books I was reading
- What was I doing to move my body and how often?
- How did each of these things make me feel?
Setting Intentions for 2018
My favorite process for getting clear is The Desire Map. It’s the best tool for delving deep into how you truly want to feel in your life. I pair this practice with Breathwork which helps us clear out stuck energy and connect to our intuition. Going into The Desire Map process after Breathwork is the best way to take a nose dive into what it is you truly want in your life.
If you'd like to be supported in this process, I do one-on-one work integrating Breathwork and The Desire Map process. At the end of our time together you’ll be ready to set clear goals or intentions for the year with clarity. Just email email@example.com or head over to the contact page.
Once you've completed your annual review let me know what you discovered in the comments below.