Are You Too Hard On Yourself?
Right now I need to give you a little reminder. The universe has given me many, many signs that this is an important thing to remember right now so I feel compelled to share it with you.
You are perfect exactly as you are right now.
This is for real. You are not broken. You are not flawed. You do not need to be fixed. You are fine. You are more than fine.
You are fabulous.
Insert whichever adjective that feels like fireworks to you. That is who you are.
Exactly as you are.
And I don’t need to know you to know this is true. I don’t need to hear you say, “But…I’m depressed or heartbroken or stressed out or anxious or unemployed or lacking purpose or so damn angry all the time or whatever other thing I have or do that makes me bad or not good enough.”
Right now you are remarkable. Even if you feel far away from it, it’s still true. Take a moment to stop judging yourself. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Take another deep breath. Be willing to let go of the judgement and the problem solving for just 30 seconds. Just breathe into your heart and allow yourself to be ok. For just 30 seconds. Go ahead.
Could you even do it for 30 seconds? Did you even allow yourself that little exercise or is your mind just telling you that you know you can do it but you’re not actually going to do it? Because if it’s the latter, that’s your ego, that’s the part of yourself that makes excuses to hold you back from being ok right now. And that is the point I am trying to make to you.
So stop letting your ego run the show. Close your eyes. Breathe. Release your judgement. Release your problems. And just be ok right now. For just 30 seconds.
There is nothing wrong with working on yourself. In fact, it’s admirable to want to be a better person. It’s a lovely thing, to want to heal and feel better in life. It’s an incredible thing to strive for. But the thing is:
When you focus on what's wrong with you you get further away from your soul waiting to shine.
Everything you want to be is already who you truly are. The only reason you feel disconnected is because you’re not allowing it. Allowing it comes from loving yourself. And most of us do not actually love ourselves. We approach self-love as a concept of the mind instead of as an energetic relationship with ourselves and the Universe.
The more you release judgement of yourself and focus instead on what a great job you’re doing, you will naturally become the better person who is already living within you. Your spectacular-ness that you couldn't see before wasn’t because it wasn’t there — it was because you weren’t focusing on it. You were too busy focusing on what’s wrong with you to see it.
The more attention you give to the things about you that you perceive as being wrong, the more energy you are expending on negativity. And the more energy you spend on all the things that are wrong with you or all of the things you wish were different in your life are going to make you feel more and more depressed, worthless, helpless, lost.
I often say that I live on the line between radical self-acceptance and self-growth. Which is to say that in all moments I am working on radically accepting and loving myself as I am and simultaneously being open to growing more and more into me. Into who I already am. Into the beautiful being that is allowing herself to be seen and heard and discovered more and more each moment.
We can do that when we love ourselves. We can’t do that when we judge ourselves. When we judge ourselves we don’t feel safe. We’re telling ourselves that we’re not ok right now as we are. We’re saying, “It’s not ok to feel sad. It’s not ok to feel depressed. It’s not ok to feel frustration.” Here is the truth:
It's okay to feel.
It’s ok to feel however it is you are feeling. And you can allow yourself to feel it. Be with it. Give yourself all the love. But don’t let it be a problem. Let it be what it is. And then move your attention to the beauty within you. The beauty that you were able to give to yourself in that moment. The beauty of non-judgement. The beauty of acceptance. The beauty of love.
You deserve it right now. Inherently. Just for being here. Just for breathing. Just for existing. You deserve to stop being so damn hard on yourself and stop for a moment to acknowledge the inherent beauty within you. Right now.
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