Release Your Fear Of Judgement
Did you know that people don’t tell their therapists about their most vulnerable sex problems? Their therapists. The people they have hired to help them with their problems.
There is a reason for this. It’s the same reason people lie to their doctors about how many sexual partners they’ve had and whether or not they smoke cigarettes.
We're all afraid of being judged.
And who can blame us really? The world is a judgmental place. We haven’t quite learned this whole big-hearted, unconditional love thing yet. We don’t often remember that everyone’s doing the best they can with what they’ve been given. So we judge each other, and it stings the deep wounds we’d rather hide from.
So we stop being honest. We shy away from vulnerability. We put on the armor before stepping outside. Some of us never take it off again.
The problem is that this doesn’t work for us if we want to become better people. We can’t grow through armor. Our hearts don’t bloom when we lie. Judging others because we’re afraid to be judged doesn’t cultivate communion. The world doesn’t become a better place when we let fear run the show. I think that’s pretty obvious given what’s been going on in the world.
I’m someone who is committed to my own personal growth. I bet you are, too. I’m a forever student, always learning and growing. But I’m particularly interested in how I can continue evolving on my path. I want my heart to keep growing and my light to shine brighter.
And it has. But I had to take a deep breath and take off the armor. I had to wake up to the truth that I was wearing a mask. Otherwise we’re just hamster-wheeling-it. We think we’re changing because we’re making efforts to change, but in truth nothing is actually happening.
We have to learn to let go of the fear of being judged so we can get busy with the big work of healing.
Part of the spiritual journey is releasing the concern of what others think about you. You have to journey inward, to reckon with your own spirit. When you get good on you the fear of judgement starts to drop. Your own love trumps it all.
I have a core group of incredible people in my life who I trust, who know me, and who support me on my journey. In the times when I’m working through something they are there to listen, to reflect, and to ponder with me. When I have been lost and in deep despair they were there to give me love until I could find my own.
The support I have had in my life has been an integral part of the woman I have become. I am a firm believer that we can grow tremendously through support. It’s why I do one-on-one mentoring work, why I have worked with teachers and mentors myself, and why I have a beautiful group of friends and family. I have allowed myself to trust others, and I have trusted myself to know who the right mentors were for me.
If you’re currently afraid those in your life will judge you one of two things is going on: either they are judging you or you’re living in fear. The difference between the two becomes very clear when you know yourself and are in touch with your intuition.
If you’re uncertain, the best way I know to move forward is with gentle nudges. Find the edge of your fear and push on it a little. See how the other person responds. If you feel safe and supported you’ll know you can begin to be more open, and this will eventually grow into a trustworthy relationship. If you feel judged it might be time to address it and move on if nothing changes.
You know who can support you in your life. You know it by the way they make you feel. If you share something vulnerable with someone and you leave them feeling worse than before they are not your support system. In order to be vulnerable we need to feel safe.
Trust yourself when you don’t feel safe.
Looking at this area is so important for our own healing otherwise we stand still. When we live in fear it hurts us, not the doctor or the therapist or the mentor. It hurts us and the ones we love.
When you're tired of hurting it's time to take off the mask. The longer you wait the dimmer your light gets, and remember, you’re here to shine big.