Many of us ask the people in our lives to change. We may not do it to their faces very often, but our judgments and criticisms reflect our desire for everyone around us to be different when it doesn't seem to suite us.
We often make up stories to justify our feelings. We might even go as far as to cut people out of our lives. Sometimes this is just and necessary. Often times we're deeply unwilling to see the truth underneath our complaints.
What we dislike in others is what we dislike in ourselves.
Relationships of all kinds act as a mirror. It might not always be obvious, but what you're struggling to accept in another person is what you haven't yet accepted within yourself. This points directly to where you need healing.
When you're able to see what you're asking others to be or do you can begin to understand yourself more clearly. Look at the way you treat others, and be honest with yourself about it.
Are you judgmental? Are you doing things for others but secretly feel resentful when they don’t do what you want them to do? Do you find flaws in others first and foremost? Look carefully at the way you view other people, especially strangers. How critical are you? How easily do you forgive? Answer these slowly, carefully, and with radical honesty.
They may look something like this:
I am critical of others.
I have a difficult time forgiving.
I don’t think other people are doing the best that they can.
Don’t move forward until you have your answers. Once you do, flip everything. So if you wrote the above you would now write this:
I am critical of myself.
I have a difficult time forgiving myself.
I don’t think I’m doing the best that I can.
This is just a starting point to help you see what you're unwilling to look at within yourself. The more we're able to do this the more we'll heal ourselves and our relationships.
The way we see others is a reflection of the way we see ourselves. Remember that to create real change you have to be willing to see the truth. Trust that you will see it when you're ready to.
I accept and love others as they are, just as I accept and love myself.
What color are your eyes? Go take a look at those beauties.