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Breathwork Teacher & Desire Map Facilitator
 
 
 

ARE YOU READY TO DIG DEEP?

Nothing That Stays Hidden Ever Heals

 
 
 
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Hi, I'm Michelle.👋

I created Pushing Beauty as an expression of my soul, and it evolved into a place that I hope will inspire you to heal. Healing is an opportunity to become fully human. It's your chance to embrace all of who you are right now. No feelings are wrong, no pain is too deep.

Pushing Beauty is a place for you to learn about yourself, and I have a number of ways to help you do that. 

Ultimately, this is a place for you to find the tools to journey inward to becoming fully human, a nicer way of saying:

You're here to learn that it's OK to feel shitty and that you have the power to heal your life.

 

 
 
 

Unbroken:
working through
depression

 
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Depression Happens
For A Reason

In this 6-week program, we're talking about the causes behind depression that you don't often hear about. We're going straight to the root, doing the deep work required to understand how and why depression is showing up in your life. 

Program begins August 12th.

 

 

 
 
 

the bright side
of a broken heart

 
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A book for anyone who has loved & lost, fallen into the dark hole of depression, grieved deeply, or is ready to heal.

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The
Pushing Beauty
Podcast

 
 
 
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Hey there!
I'm Michelle, and I'm here to help you learn how to heal yourself.

You're not broken.
You're not too much.
You are enough.
You're lovable.
You deserve the life your soul desires.

My job is to support you in uncovering these truths for yourself. I'm here to empower you to release your pain and access the wisdom within you.

 
 
 


Love for Michelle

Testimonials

"I had been in therapy for 6 months before meeting Michelle and felt that my issues weren't really getting addressed. Immediately after we began working together I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. If you're thinking of working with Michelle, be ready for change to happen right away! Oh and it's always important to remember that not every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows. Just because you're on a new path, doesn't mean you're not going to have bad days. I learned that it's OK to be emotional and to actually embrace the negative feelings because "this too shall pass."  
—Salina

"I am a big fan of working on myself and tried every kind of healer and healing but breathwork is actually me being my own healer for myself. Michelle leads me through an off the charts playlist and makes me feel safe and comfortable to let it all out. The transformations have been mindblowing (I accomplished a goal I had for years) and I only started working with her a few months ago." 
—Christina

"I want to thank you so so much for holding space for me to feel safe in opening and feeling my feelings. I had berated myself earlier in the day for spending so much on one hour of time. But I can honestly say I can't believe how much healing you can accomplish in an hour! Breathwork has helped me to be more open in my life, to continue forging through my fears of being open/vulnerable/showing my true self - I am finding the benefit of this comfort in vulnerability, and that when I am open, others react so positively to it, and my life is more beautiful because of it. "

—Andrea

"I consider myself very lucky to have found Michelle. She is very compassionate and caring, I felt I was talking to a long-lost friend rather than a coach. I looked forward to my one on one sessions with her, she challenged me to be my best self. Being from India I was aware of different breathing techniques but I really enjoyed the breathwork taught by her, it is the easiest to do! I also did the Desire Mapping Workshop with her in a group setting and her guidance was crucial for me to connect with my innermost feelings and come up with a life plan that works for me.”" —Dhirja

"Michelle’s breathwork sessions are absolutely incredible. She creates a very open and safe environment that allowed me to feel vulnerable. She sensed that I was struggling to get through the first breathing series, and with her calm presence and intuitive cues, guided me through it. I’m so happy that she could tune into my energy and recognize this because I was left in a euphoric state yearning for more. I can’t wait to take another session with her and would recommend Michelle to anyone looking for an incredible guided meditation experience." —Alisa

"I came to Michelle after a devastating breakup. I was miserable and extremely anxious. Michelle helped me focus on what feelings my mind was trying to avoid. Her focus was on helping me learn to love myself. Through Breathwork and Michelle's guidance I was able to control my mind and find hope for my life again. Each week I felt better and better. This work is not a quick fix, but I took it very seriously and showed up for each session. This work has been so encouraging for my life." —Leo

"Although I am a deeply spiritual person who is open to new experiences, nothing quite prepared me for the breathwork session with Michelle. It was an intense, out of body experience that opened up a part of my soul that I never knew existed. With her beautiful guidance, she helped me start the healing process of forgiveness and letting go. Michelle she has this ability to create a space full of trust and love, allowing you to explore a deeper part of yourself without fear or reservation." —Michelle

"Thank you SO much, Michelle. You crafted the space so beautifully, and you reminded me of the great, innate power of the breath. With a heart-breaking start to the year, I had forgotten about it. I pivoted away from my pain by drowning my myself in my work and being in service, sometimes as a way to nestle away from the hurt. Thank you for allowing me to feel... That soundtrack though... seriously girl. Thank you." —Tara Bliss

"Before working with Michelle I felt confused and lost. Through working together I feel 100% more grounded. Breathwork grounded me like no other healing method I've worked with before. I have always struggled with making time for myself, and with Michelle's encouragement I began to carve out solid time for self care. I feel so much more connected to my body and am so aware of how much can be learned from the breath and the body. I highly recommend working with Michelle." —Julia

"Working with Michelle has brought me so much inner strength and stability. This is huge for me! Through her amazing listening skills, her intuitive understanding of people and her knowledge, she helped me discover how to access the resources which were in me already but that I could not see." —Marie-Eve

"Working with Michelle really helped me learned that it's okay to feel ALL my emotions but not to define myself by them. This has also helped me dig deeper into what it is I'm really feeling which has helped me continue to discover something new about myself. She really challenged me even if it was uncomfortable. I thought that doing Breathwork over Skype wasn't going to be as effective or that it was going to be weird but it was perfect! You can tell when someone really wants to see you succeed, and with Michelle you can see the passion in her work and how she's rooting for you. The fact that I can keep doing Breathwork and automatically see the effects is amazing. Working with Michelle felt like a different approach to tackling the issues we're all struggling with. She's just wonderful overall." —Alejandra

"I began working with Michelle when I was diagnosed with cancer. Working with her has helped me let go of fear and get centered. There's something about knowing she has my back that makes a huge difference. Practicing Breathwork consistently with Michelle has helped me destress, calm me, and has given me deep insights into myself." —Lindsay

 
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AS SEEN ON

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Dig Deeper is a self-study platform that gives you access to all of my workshops, teachings, and guides.

If you're ready to manage your emotions, release your pain, face the fears that are keeping you small, and open your heart I'd love to invite you to Dig Deeper.

 
 
 
 
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Instagram Inspiration

In preparation for tomorrow's final session of Unbroken, I was remembering a time I was incredibly depressed. I had just gotten home from retreat and went to lay on the grass under a tree. I was desperate to understand why I felt the way I did and asked the trees to give me a message. This is what came through me back in 2016: . You belong here. You are a part of this all, the trees that hover above you and the earth that supports you. . You belong here. Your heart is beating with a voice. It wants to be heard. It needs to be heard. It’s here to be heard. . You won’t feel complete until you let it out. And then you’ll need to do it over and over and over again until your body falls to dust and your voice goes everywhere all at once. . You belong here. Your body wants to move and explore and see and experience. It needs to. It wants energy to flow freely within it. It wants you to keep letting go so you can feel more love and more truth. . You belong here. So much so that you will return to the earth when your time is done. So while you’re here walk this land like it’s a part of you because it is. Stand tall and sing loudly. Let spirit spark you back to life and move freely so you can be who you are meant to be while you’re still breathing. . Don’t wait one more moment. You belong here. I wrote this sentence a few years ago when I needed the message myself. People share this sentence a lot, and I’m glad because we all need to be reminded of our strength when we can’t feel it. In a healing session the other day, my client yelled out, “I’m sick and tired of my fear!” I told her that was exactly where she wanted to be because that sweet spot opens you up to the courage you didn’t know you had. . Fear is just energy that wants to keep you out of your pain. The path to healing is straight through the pain, so let yourself get sick and tired of the fear. It doesn’t mean your fear will go away, it just means that you will find courage to walk through it anyway. I have been spending a lot of time alone the past few months. Even weekends and evenings alone. It’s not that I’m not socializing, I’m just socializing wayyyyyy less than I have in the past, and it’s for a reason . I’m being called to learn how to be alone in a new way. I am being called to act from my soul and not from my wounds. I am spending time with people who leave me energized and excited about life. I am learning to listen to myself more deeply than ever before. . I was laughing with my friend last night that I feel like an elderly lady walking down the beach Friday night, smiling, content in my heart and watching people at all different stages of their lives. I feel really grateful to be learning these lessons this young. . The truth is that everything is in motion. There would have been many times that I would have felt like there was something wrong with me that I was spending so much time with myself. FOMO is super real—especially when you’re single and ready for love. But there are deeper lessons to be learned—lessons like trust and self-love. . I decided to share this because I know a lot of people feel lonely when they are alone. Our fears show up, and instead of seeing the beauty on the beach we see only what we believe is missing. It is entirely possible to love your own company and feel that exactly where you are is where you’re meant to be. There’s this misconception that self-love means you’re floating on clouds, feeling all turned on about yourself. It can look like that sometimes, but most of the time it doesn’t (for me, at least). The times when we feel lowest are the times we need our own love the most. . You can love yourself through your deepest grief, through a malaise, when you end up comparing yourself to others, when you’re disappointed, and when you don’t feel supported. You don’t have to feel good to take good care of yourself. I was just talking to a friend about the Queer Eye trans makeover episode. The trans man from the episode, Skyler Jay, was interviewed by @them about his true feelings on the episode. . In addition to the above quote he goes on to say, “And then I always explain that I may be the first openly trans person they’ve met, but we’re everywhere. To watch both Tan and Antoni’s — and many, many, many other people’s — eyes… it’s like their brain explodes for a second. They go ‘uh, what?’ and then their whole perception of reality and how they perceive those around them shifts.” . I want to make this a safer world for everyone, so I try to learn about people who live different experiences than I do. Here are a few suggestions if you’re interested in educating yourself: •Queer Eye Season 2, Episode 5 •Suited •The Trans List •Redefining Realness by Janet Mock •Never Before (Janet’s podcast), Episode with Amiyah Scott . Please leave a comment with any additional suggestions. 👌🏼💕 "This book was amazing. It read like a book of poems and helped me realize some of the things that I've been pushing down because of pain in my past. It helped me see that I'm not the only one who feels these things and that I'm not alone. I highly recommend reading this book, it's one I'll be coming back to over and over again." —Kate G. There have been some major moments of getting real with myself as I call in soul partnership. There have been milestones that have passed that have made me question where the hell he is, and there have been experiences I have (unconsciously) pushed off until he arrives. This affirmation came to me after a Breathwork session a few weeks ago, and it’s one I am staying deeply connected to. . My life is worth living right now. I grew up in a small town in New Jersey where some people came to live quietly on weekends and after the commute from a workday in Manhattan. It was a few weeks before my 18th Birthday when everyone in town spent hours in front of televisions replaying scenes of two planes driving into Twin Towers. . I begrudgingly worked at the local supermarket (the same one my Dad worked at) and monotonously slid groceries over a glass plate. Boop. Boop. Boop. . I didn’t like many people back then, but I took to this customer in her 40s who worked in a building next to the Towers. She came in later that week, I think, and I can still see her face in my mind now. She looked older and haunted. As she shuffled through line in her gray sweats she told me that the windows in her building blew out. She told me she would never be the same. . I became obsessed with the photo of the man jumping out of the building. There he was, just floating in the air. I wondered what he was thinking about that long way down. Did anyone ever find out who he was? . I remember that people started loving each other harder. Some people got married when they had been hesitating. I think we hugged each other more and felt the somber truth that this life can go at any moment in any way. . Ray Kurzweil, the man who is obsessed with humans living forever, was interviewed by a former spiritual teacher of mine. My former teacher asked him if he thought people wouldn’t find life as precious if we could live forever because death gives meaning to life. Ray responded that being alive is inherently meaningful. . Can we still love hard in the moments when tragedy feels far away? Everything unimportant halted on September 11, 2001. The same thing happens when a loved one dies or falls ill. We prioritize. I wonder if we can put love and meaning front and center over and over again when death isn’t on our minds. It’s been just about a year since I published The Bright Side of a Broken Heart. The journey of being grief-stricken, depressed, and completely lost to who I am now has been wild. It has been the most challenging and the most rewarding years of my life. . Through the two and a half years since that breakup, I have had many moments of feeling hopeless, alone, and damaged. When my depression wouldn’t subside, the grief poured out endlessly, and I watched time pass by without a new partner coming in, the unconscious belief that there was something wrong with me surfaced. . Every single time I have resisted my experience I ignored the lessons that were in front of me (usually about self-love but sometimes about other things). I suffered greatly because I wasn’t willing to love myself when I needed it the most. . This book is about the journey through pain. I wrote it while I was grieving. It was part of my healing. Through it I learned that I have a powerful guidance system that I had been denying my entire life. As I healed, I reclaimed lost parts of myself and began to discover who I am. . Our pain is our greatest teacher, but most of us don’t learn from its wisdom. We push it away and wish for things to be easy. I think a lot of this is because we aren’t taught how to work with our pain so we don’t know what we’re supposed to do with it. . I was blessed enough to have an incredible guidance system during that time. I know many people don’t, and the feeling of loneliness is no joke. If you need support in navigating your pain, email me. This is why I’m here. . If you’re interested in my book, click the link in my profile. I’m not one for sports, but I am for womxn. A man used his power to put a woman “in her place.” This still happens ALL.THE.TIME. In politics. In corporations. In relationships. . I am feeling so inspired by @serenawilliams using her voice to call this out. In an interview she said, “It’s just an example for the next person that has emotions and that wants to express themselves and that wants to be a strong woman. Maybe it didn’t work out for me today but it’s gonna work out for the next person.” . Yes, we get to have emotions. We get to be angry when we feel wronged. This is why I do my work. This is why I am speaking up. Nothing changes any other way. . PS Absolutely loved how Serena hugged Naomi Osaka and told the crowd not to boo her. According to @huffpostwomen she said, “Let’s make this the best moment we can, we’ll get through it. Let’s give everyone credit where credit’s due. Let’s not boo anymore. We’re going to get through this. Let’s stay positive. Congratulations, Naomi. No more booing!” Sitting here between client sessions, reading @adriennemareebrown’s gorgeous description of the pain and transformation that happens in the dark. I have always felt pulled to the dark depths, the places of pain. I have learned to magic and beauty that lives in this space. It’s sacred and powerful. . Adrienne’s suggested new moon affirmation is relevant always but feels timely in its relevant to my decision to speak out about @freeandnative a week ago (see a few posts back if you missed it). . “All that you touch You change All that you change Changes you The only lasting truth Is change God Is change” —Octavia Butler I have been thinking about why, as a culture, it is so hard for us to admit we are wrong. It’s really not that hard to be wrong, say you’re sorry, mean it, and do better. . Except that it IS really hard—until it isn’t. . So what is it that feels so hard? The resistance must be strong enough to justify hurting and harming, to deny the truth, and to be willing to live in a space of denial. . What I have come to is that we’re afraid of losing something that feels really big. . On the deepest level, we’re afraid of losing love. Unfortunately, I think many of us are simply afraid of not being liked. We’re afraid that we won’t be forgiven when we mess up. We’re afraid of losing money, status, and popularity. . It comes at a great expense. We are contributing to a culture that cares more about image than it does about the well being of people. We are focused more on what we can gain than what we can give. . When we’re so focused on what we might lose, we forget that there’s something to gain. . I want to see more people willing to lose something. . Are you? “When somebody asks you to “check your privilege” they are asking you to pause and consider how the advantages you’ve had in life are contributing to your opinions and actions, and how the lack of disadvantages in certain areas is keeping you from fully understanding the struggles others are facing and may in fact be contributing to those struggles. It is a big ask, to check your privilege. It is hard and often painful, but it’s not nearly as painful as living with the pain caused by the unexamined privilege of others. You may right now be saying “but it’s not my privilege that is hurting someone, it’s their lack of privilege. Don’t blame me, blame the people telling them that what they have isn’t as good as what I have.” And in a way, that is true, but know this, a privilege has to come with somebody else’s disadvantage—otherwise, it’s not a privilege.” Ijeoma Oluo, So You Want To Talk About Race A dreamer, thinker, and idea maker, I have always been more in my head than in my body. For most of my life being in my body didn’t feel very safe. I felt big emotions, like grief and rage, which didn’t seem to match my life experience. . This isn’t everyone’s journey. I have friends who are naturally deeply grounded, and they have their own lessons to learn here. . I came here to learn how to heal pain. I came here to be in my body. I’m not very interested in enlightenment or transcending the body. I want to know my body, love my body, be IN my body. I don’t get a ton of moments when I feel fully grounded in my body, but when I do it feels like home. When we aren’t willing to do the hard work of healing, it’s easy to let our triggers get in the way of the truth. I am incredibly inspired by the communication in my last post and also in the FB group I was a part of, but there are still messages that slip in. People who say: . “This feels like bullying. We’re all in this together. I feel like there’s a better way to go about this.” . Here’s the thing: It doesn’t always feel good to hear the truth. The truth can be implicating. It can mean that we have to face some really heavy things we have been avoiding. But… . The truth is the truth is the truth is the truth. It doesn’t need to be said in a way that makes you feel better about yourself. If you feel something, that’s your cue to investigate what that feeling is telling you about yourself. . We all have different communication styles. I happen to be someone who is fairly straightforward, and I’m very passionate. These qualities of mine have never been well-liked. I can come across serious and intense. I am, and I have come to accept and love these things about myself. . In my early twenties I learned that laughing instead of speaking up helped me garner love. As I became “more spiritual” I learned to coat my words with fluff. I spoke in ways that I thought were right instead of ways that felt true. At some point I avoided speaking the truth or sharing my opinions altogether. . Learning to love all of who I am and align with my soul has taught me that there’s a place for us all. I don’t need to win the popularity contest because that’s not what I came here for. I’m here to help people process pain, so my serious and intense personality (with some major dashes of joy and fun) serve my purpose really well. . Many of us are afraid of the truth because we’re afraid of tarnishing our image, being ostracized, or losing it all. It’s a feeling I have experienced myself. Healing has taught me that I am a human being who is going to make a whole lot of mistakes. I am willing to look at my perspectives and see how they are causing harm. I am willing to apologize when I fuck up. I am willing to grow and do better next time, and I am willing to love myself through it all. Along with a couple hundred other women, I was recently blocked from Free & Native’s Facebook group under the premise that we were bullying, harassing, and shaming people. I know many of you follow Lacy, support her work, and some of you are personal friends with her. . I’m sharing this because I don’t want to live in a world where we silence people who speak the truth because it’s inconvenient for our brand. I’m tired of seeing white women in the wellness world care more about their image than they do about their integrity. I will not support anyone who cares more about being perceived as a leader, a knower, and a Teacher, than they do about doing their work and being of service. . There was nothing close to bullying, harassing, or shaming happening in the FB group. (Side note: Just because you feel shame does not mean someone is shaming you.) In fact, it was a healthy conversation asking Lacy to acknowledge seriously harmful comments she made about feminism and race in a podcast episode. Don’t bother looking for it—she deleted it. . Lacy responded with several videos that ranged from aggressive and defensive to manipulative and with a complete lack of humility. She declared that she would never apologize and that she was glad she triggered us so we could look at this ourselves. She repeatedly manipulated the situation to attempt to stay in power and when she realized it wasn’t working she blocked us. (Someone said she blocked 600 of us.) . She might as well be pointing her finger at us and saying, “Fake news.” . This tactic isn’t working anymore. We are waking up, and we are speaking up. . Please remember, where you spend your energy and your dollars matters. . #notfreeandnative #freeandnative A couple weeks ago someone posted something in regards to the anti-racism work I’ve been doing publicly. A few times he remarked that this is not what he expected from someone who writes about heartbreak. I responded that I work with pain, which includes heartbreak, and it also includes abuse, racism, and all of the other ugly parts of humanity. . I’m OK with not being who you expect me to be. I’m OK with making you a little uncomfortable because you don’t want to look at those parts of yourself. I’m OK with you unfollowing me if you’re not ready. I’m OK with not being for you. . I’m OK with all of this because I am the one who had to reckon with this soul of mine. I’m OK with not being for you because I’m for me. I know who I am. I know this little box you are perceiving me through can never fully translate the essence and depth of my soul. And that’s OK.